Now that you are both an architect AND a tennis player, let’s make sure you have the best tips for returning that serve. Here is where we will discuss some important terms you’ll want to become well-acquainted with. The caregiver will want to be regulated, attuned, and reflective. Being regulated means you are not in a heightened emotional state; you want to approach the serve with calm. If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or even angry, you won’t be able to successfully return the serve. Give yourself a minute, take some space, and find your own calm before approaching the baby. A calm caregiver will help a baby to regulate their emotions, this is called co-regulation. Being attuned is much like mirroring or matching the baby’s gestures or facial expressions, their emotional experience. Attunement is never mimicking or mocking. If the baby is crying, attunement looks like, “Oh, I see you are sad.” Reflection is the caregiver’s ability to look back on their own experiences and cultures while holding their baby’s mind in their mind.

Infant brains are wired to connect with others. This happens through the process of serve and return. Biology may determine how the brain grows but caretakers influence the quality of growth through simple interactions.

Resources | References

• NJ Children’s System of Care
• Montclair State University Center for Autism and Early Childhood Mental Health
• KEEPING BABIES & CHILDREN IN MIND Professional Formation Series in Infant & Early Childhood